Canine Critiques Gifts

'Great car-chasing scenes!'

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

'You do a passable Jerry Lewis, but your Frank Sinatra stinks.'

'Try the steak tartare...it's okay.'

'How long have you had this obsessive hatred of cats?'

'Mutt is very insulting and definitely politically incorrect, but where do I find an animal rights attorney at this hour of the night?'

Stu just wanted to participate in the outdoor art class. . . alone. . . but Bob went ahead and invited himself anyway. . .

Four Star Meal

'I don't know if we should stay there, dear. That kennel only got two stars.'

"No sense of smell, ears plugged and eyes fixed on their phones. I'm telling you, if I weren't domesticated I'd be all over that."

"You're not fooling me. I can spot 'fake mews'."

Dog's Loo

-'God that looks disgusting.' -'You're telling me.'

'Yeah, their website is called www.dazoosux.com.'

"Don't be fooled, it looks easy but I've yet to meet a dog who's mastered it."

Dogs at Dog Show Judging the Judges.

Sick Exhibitionist

"It's an exact replica of the kind of zoo they would usually live in."

'I like it.'

"Sure, you used to be a YouTube sensation. But what have you done lately."

"A cat wouldn't answer."

'Thanks to me, you can save the money for the cat food from now on and put it into more reasonable investments!'

''Woof, Woof, Woof.' You call that a blog entry?'

"I've got a complaint about the table scraps you are feeding me...cut down on the fatty tissues...I'm gaining weight!"

"That was a silly way to split the dung Fred! How are we supposed to roll our share home now?"

"I think I'll go for the Barf Bits du Jour."

'Don't tell me you want universal health care!'

The message was clear: Pay up or die. Or maybe it was: Change the water.

'What about the arts? I need to learn MORE than just obedience!'

Dog Food Testing Lab.

Honk If You Hate Cats

Bad Reads

"Humans are strange."