Canine Critic Prints

Dog Food Testing Lab.

"This isn't tap water, is it?"

The Thinker and The Stinker

'I'm more of a cat person.'

"Sure, you used to be a YouTube sensation. But what have you done lately."

"This article says 'Area dogs applaud performance; humans call it incessantly infuriating!' Wow! Your barking on the back porch last night was a big hit!"

"This is better than taking the dog for a walk."

"That's OK, they're not yelling at each other! They're yelling at the TV: a politician is giving a speech..."

"Don't be fooled, it looks easy but I've yet to meet a dog who's mastered it."

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

'You do a passable Jerry Lewis, but your Frank Sinatra stinks.'

'Try the steak tartare...it's okay.'

'How long have you had this obsessive hatred of cats?'

'Mutt is very insulting and definitely politically incorrect, but where do I find an animal rights attorney at this hour of the night?'

Stu just wanted to participate in the outdoor art class. . . alone. . . but Bob went ahead and invited himself anyway. . .

Four Star Meal

"Oh shut up."

'I don't know if we should stay there, dear. That kennel only got two stars.'

-'God that looks disgusting.' -'You're telling me.'

Dog's Loo

"No sense of smell, ears plugged and eyes fixed on their phones. I'm telling you, if I weren't domesticated I'd be all over that."

"You're not fooling me. I can spot 'fake mews'."

'You're lucky you can't read.'

'Yeah, their website is called www.dazoosux.com.'

'I don't care if top breeders do recommend it - I am not going to eat dog food!'

Dogs at Dog Show Judging the Judges.

Sick Exhibitionist

"It's an exact replica of the kind of zoo they would usually live in."

John envied his friends who worked at the local chocolate company

'Thanks to me, you can save the money for the cat food from now on and put it into more reasonable investments!'

'I like it.'

"A cat wouldn't answer."

''Woof, Woof, Woof.' You call that a blog entry?'

'You're lucky you can't read.'

"I've got a complaint about the table scraps you are feeding me...cut down on the fatty tissues...I'm gaining weight!"