Café Conversations Gifts

"Yes, it's hot and humid in Atlanta, but my vote is worth ten thousand of yours."

"Let's just say I have a pre-existing condition."

"She's in a conversationally induced coma."

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

Correct Comics *Drawn By A Vegetarian On Acid-Free Recycled Paper In A Drug-Free Environment

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

"Remember back in the day when I was a real heartbreaker?" "Riiight... now the only thing you break is wind."

"How about a hand."

Dialogue

'I'm down to a pack of neuroses a day.'

'You've got the wrong idiot, number.'

Shallow End (Slightly innocuous statements) - Deep End (a little more weighty)

"Of course, that's just my opinion. If you want my professional opinion it will cost you."

'The trouble with Nigel is that he's so changeable. One minute I love him and the next minute I loathe him.'

'Who's a pretty boy! Is that all you've got to say?'

"Most men lead lives of quiet desperation. Frankly, it beats Pandora."

"I only drink decaf, otherwise I'm awake up to four hours a day."

"I don'y know about you guys, but I don't feel like I've lost one goddamn bit of my feminity."

'It's funny - I'm a Bourbon, but I've always preferred Scotch.'

A lesson in wit

"I know it's only been a little while since we've been allowed to mingle again but I'm already getting really tired of people."

"Of all my husbands I believe the first one tasted the best."

Young girl asks young boy what time he wakes in the morning

"Sergio, you are the best father in the world. Except, you know, when you're not."

I'm beginning to regret the hearing aids.

"You might be poor and ugly but you're the only one who didn't blather about politics and climate change after ten minutes. What's your name? Marry me!"

"Oh, that reminds me of this article I barely remember."

"Could you repeat all that, I lost you at 'good morning.'"

"When you say you love your life, should I be happy for you?"

"It just wasn't working out. He's liberal low-carb and I'm strict keto."

"I find it a very good conversation starter."

'Sorry, what was that?'

"Is this the wobbly table? I'll put my screenplay under this leg."

"I broke it off with him when I realized his love of quinoa was but a sham."