Café Conversations T-Shirts

"Yes, it's hot and humid in Atlanta, but my vote is worth ten thousand of yours."

"Let's just say I have a pre-existing condition."

"She's in a conversationally induced coma."

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

Correct Comics *Drawn By A Vegetarian On Acid-Free Recycled Paper In A Drug-Free Environment

"Remember back in the day when I was a real heartbreaker?" "Riiight... now the only thing you break is wind."

"How about a hand."

Dialogue

'I'm down to a pack of neuroses a day.'

'You've got the wrong idiot, number.'

Shallow End (Slightly innocuous statements) - Deep End (a little more weighty)

"Of course, that's just my opinion. If you want my professional opinion it will cost you."

"I only drink decaf, otherwise I'm awake up to four hours a day."

"Most men lead lives of quiet desperation. Frankly, it beats Pandora."

'The trouble with Nigel is that he's so changeable. One minute I love him and the next minute I loathe him.'

'Who's a pretty boy! Is that all you've got to say?'

"I don'y know about you guys, but I don't feel like I've lost one goddamn bit of my feminity."

"I know it's only been a little while since we've been allowed to mingle again but I'm already getting really tired of people."

"Of all my husbands I believe the first one tasted the best."

Young girl asks young boy what time he wakes in the morning

Yeah, I woke up as a roach because I was so full of existential dread – Why did you wake up as a dung beetle?

'It's funny - I'm a Bourbon, but I've always preferred Scotch.'

A lesson in wit

"Sergio, you are the best father in the world. Except, you know, when you're not."

"When you say you love your life, should I be happy for you?"

I'm beginning to regret the hearing aids.

"Could you repeat all that, I lost you at 'good morning.'"

"Oh, that reminds me of this article I barely remember."

"You might be poor and ugly but you're the only one who didn't blather about politics and climate change after ten minutes. What's your name? Marry me!"

"It just wasn't working out. He's liberal low-carb and I'm strict keto."

"I find it a very good conversation starter."

'Sorry, what was that?'

"Is this the wobbly table? I'll put my screenplay under this leg."