Coffee Conversationist Gifts

"The Sculleys, the Jensons, the Walkers, Freedy, Joan, Don and the Bowes. Oh, well, Madame de Stael had to start somewhere."

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

'I'm down to a pack of neuroses a day.'

"Of course I've been drinking!"

'You've had enough!'

"I don'y know about you guys, but I don't feel like I've lost one goddamn bit of my feminity."

"I know it's only been a little while since we've been allowed to mingle again but I'm already getting really tired of people."

'I don't care what he says, child labor laws were never intended to protect the rights of children in their mid-30s.'

"When you say you love your life, should I be happy for you?"

"So have you been watching Bridgerton?"

"It just wasn't working out. He's liberal low-carb and I'm strict keto."

'Looks like another typical caffeine overdose.'

"Well, team....time to trade our 'You Got This!' coffee mugs to the 'Mistakes Were Made' mugs."

"Paved in gold? Oh my, no. With out crumbling infrastructure we're doing well if the streets are paved at all."

"I broke it off with him when I realized his love of quinoa was but a sham."

"We're still negotiating. I want a six-figure starting salary and they don't want to hire me."

"I'm dating a much younger guy....makes sense, my ex was a cheetah."

"Is this the wobbly table? I'll put my screenplay under this leg."

"I've been dating this homeless guy..."

'I didn't get the settlement I was hoping for...turns out I'd already spent most of his money while we were married.'

"What is friendship if not constant amateurish psychoanalysis?"

To make your computer faster, please pour two cups of Espresso into your CD drive.

Tea Cup Ride

"I've had a few days to calm down and process things and I've come to the realization that I was wrong to have had faith in humanity."

"I remember when you could order a cup of coffee in two or three words."

'Yes, it was love at first sight. Who would've thought that five years on, I'd be sick of the sight of him?!'

Heirlooms of Tomorrow

'My life began at 40 but my credit problems had a huge head start.'

"I thought I was a writer, but it turned out to be a chemical imbalance."

She's been teaching too long!

"Actually, I was first drawn to Judaism not because of the religious beliefs but the dietary restrictions!"

“I think you’ve had enough.”