Coffeehouse Conversationalist Gifts

Yeah, I woke up as a roach because I was so full of existential dread – Why did you wake up as a dung beetle?

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

'Actually, I don't get out much. I spend most of my time alone, writing lyrical novels celebrating nature and the interconnectedness of all living things!'

Snow is falling...

"I don'y know about you guys, but I don't feel like I've lost one goddamn bit of my feminity."

"Of all my husbands I believe the first one tasted the best."

"Wanna get pigeon holed?"

Jay McInerney

"It's discretionary income but I occasionally use it for indiscretions."

"When you say you love your life, should I be happy for you?"

"I unleash greed, disease, and death on the world, and you're saying you ate an apple that made you smart?"

"Oh I don't think it's as bad as all that. In fact, I think we're in the golden age of something which we won't even realize it's the golden age of until many years from now."

"It just wasn't working out. He's liberal low-carb and I'm strict keto."

'It's going to be harder to get back than you think. We're now part of a subculture of a counter culture.'

"I was quite a successful writer once...what sort of books are you interested in?"

"I broke it off with him when I realized his love of quinoa was but a sham."

'Fill 'er up!'

"Mother, you were right."

'I think it's finally accurate to say that literally everyone is misusing the word 'literally'.'

'He popped the question last night. 'Who do you think will win the Cup?'

"Paved in gold? Oh my, no. With out crumbling infrastructure we're doing well if the streets are paved at all."

"Everything has been done to death."

"We're still negotiating. I want a six-figure starting salary and they don't want to hire me."

"Is this the wobbly table? I'll put my screenplay under this leg."

"I got married once - to avoid writing."

"Do you think of yourself as a spiritual person?"

'Better get back to business and take your mind off golf for a change.'

'Sam's not really a seafaring man but he can yo-ho-ho with the best of them.'

'I didn't get the settlement I was hoping for...turns out I'd already spent most of his money while we were married.'

"He's your type--gorgeous, successful, and totally unavailable."

"I've had a few days to calm down and process things and I've come to the realization that I was wrong to have had faith in humanity."

'Has anyone ever told you your tweets are Hemingwayesque?'

"How can we reduce red tape and promote market forces?"

Randy, do you think I'm stuck working here, working at this cafe? Why do you ask? Maybe I could branch out, test the waters, see if I've got the courage and capacity to try something new. Are you saying I hang out at this cafe because I've got nowhere else to go? What just happened? If I just said something aloud, it had no weight or meaning.

"Who am I to question our government's policies? I'll tell you who I am! I'm Bernard A. Nesbitt, who reads the 'Times,' the 'Wall Street Journal,' the 'Post,' 'Newsweek,' 'Time,' 'Business Week,' 'U.S.News & World Report,' 'Look,' 'Life,' and 'Saturday Evening Post.' That's who I am!"