Coffee Conversationalist Gifts

'I didn't get the settlement I was hoping for...turns out I'd already spent most of his money while we were married.'

"And they say this country doesn't make anything anymore!"

'I'd like to drop this whole believing in God thing.'

"It's not so much that he comes home late, as that he comes home"

"I'm 49, but that's 32 in Facebook years."

"I've reached that age where everyday I wake up wishing I wasn't this age."

"Of course I believe in god. . . I need all the help I can get!"

"Paved in gold? Oh my, no. With out crumbling infrastructure we're doing well if the streets are paved at all."

"Would you like to come in for sex?"

"Does God know we don't believe in him?"

"All this fuss about same sex marriage, I've been having the same sex with my husband for the last 27 years."

'At least he's normal, well, as normal as men get.'

'Henry is about to retire. That's his boss sending me a two-minute warning.'

"You can't spend your political life hiding behind being Canadian."

'When we first got married, Warren was crazy about me -- now he's just crazy.'

"I understand you're with the circus."

'He's very Territorial Army.'

"You keep using the phrase 'Better than sex.' You must not be doing it right."

"We're still negotiating. I want a six-figure starting salary and they don't want to hire me."

"I've had a few days to calm down and process things and I've come to the realization that I was wrong to have had faith in humanity."

"When you say you love your life, should I be happy for you?"

"We know them socially - not politically."

"I have a lot of angst, but I haven't figured out how to package it."

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

Time for tea and friendship.

'I'm down to a pack of neuroses a day.'

"I don'y know about you guys, but I don't feel like I've lost one goddamn bit of my feminity."

'I don't care what he says, child labor laws were never intended to protect the rights of children in their mid-30s.'

"So have you been watching Bridgerton?"

"It just wasn't working out. He's liberal low-carb and I'm strict keto."

"All the good ones are neutered."

"I'm dating a much younger guy....makes sense, my ex was a cheetah."

'He popped the question last night. 'Who do you think will win the Cup?'

"I'm using my married name right now, but I'm keeping my maiden name on ice, just in case."

"I got married once - to avoid writing."