Coffee Conversationalists Gifts

"I remember when you could order a cup of coffee in two or three words."

'I'm down to a pack of neuroses a day.'

"I don'y know about you guys, but I don't feel like I've lost one goddamn bit of my feminity."

'I don't care what he says, child labor laws were never intended to protect the rights of children in their mid-30s.'

"When you say you love your life, should I be happy for you?"

'According to my Dad, bosses are just like headmasters. The only difference is that they give you money every month.'

"So have you been watching Bridgerton?"

"It just wasn't working out. He's liberal low-carb and I'm strict keto."

'I preferred it before you started taking Prozac.'

'He popped the question last night. 'Who do you think will win the Cup?'

"I broke it off with him when I realized his love of quinoa was but a sham."

"Is this the wobbly table? I'll put my screenplay under this leg."

"I got married once - to avoid writing."

"Paved in gold? Oh my, no. With out crumbling infrastructure we're doing well if the streets are paved at all."

"We're still negotiating. I want a six-figure starting salary and they don't want to hire me."

"I've been dating this homeless guy..."

"I'm dating a much younger guy....makes sense, my ex was a cheetah."

'I didn't get the settlement I was hoping for...turns out I'd already spent most of his money while we were married.'

"What is friendship if not constant amateurish psychoanalysis?"

"He's your type--gorgeous, successful, and totally unavailable."

'Has anyone ever told you your tweets are Hemingwayesque?'

'Well there hasn't been a ring yet! But he did say that we were going to look at bridle wear - so, I know what that means. . . he loves me, Joanne.'

"I've had a few days to calm down and process things and I've come to the realization that I was wrong to have had faith in humanity."

"Phil is my Vice President in Charge of Snappy Comebacks."

'My life began at 40 but my credit problems had a huge head start.'

"I thought I was a writer, but it turned out to be a chemical imbalance."

'Did someone forget to circle before dinner.'

"Of course I'm naturally apologetic. I was conceived during make-up sex."

"Actually, I was first drawn to Judaism not because of the religious beliefs but the dietary restrictions!"

I went to the book store, drank coffee, listened to some guitar player, talked to a friend, and forgot to buy my book!

"The Sculleys, the Jensons, the Walkers, Freedy, Joan, Don and the Bowes. Oh, well, Madame de Stael had to start somewhere."

"Why is it sooo difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good-looking. . . ?"