Business Travel Season Gifts

'You're off the plane, Hal. Put the laptop on your desk.'

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

"Of course this'll be a great year. The data, sales projections, customer surveys, and my mom all think so."

"This bag is carry-on, and this one is kick-drop-throw-and-pile-on."

'Sir, will that be business or first class?'

The World's Easiest Airport

A private jet takes off

"Cancel the trip. The cook didn't get a visa."

"I'm afraid there'll be an excess baggage charge on your Filofax."

"I love these off-site business meetings."

Leave Nothing But Footprints, Take Nothing But Selfies.

'I feel like my ears are about to pop.'

"You shouldn't have stopped to go to the bathroom, sir - you were late claiming your luggage, so we raffled it off."

Airport

"Now boarding group 50 and up."

"Expense account or regular?"

'Hanson - committee of four.'

Technological Dependence.

"Seriously, do you expect us to believe you put on 143 feet a day in business travel?"

'He must be going economy!'

Gates A-B Taking Care of Business, C-D Funny Business, E-F Do Your Business.

"Don't worry. If we're too late, we can always catch the secondary screening."

'Can I ask you what you've had to eat this morning, Sir? . . .Have you evacuated your bowels since then? . . . I'm afraid I'll have to charge you for the additional weight.'

Airport Bored Rooms

Business-Class.

'Your luggage went to Bosnia-Herzegovina, sir, and I'm afraid they're holding it for ransom.'

'As a matter-of-fact I didn't pack my own bags...Well,well, well...Speak of the devil!'

Don't you worry JB, everything is fine here.

Airport Security. Remove Shoes. What do they call the guy in charge of all this airport security? "The TSAR"!

"Hell: The Airport"

'Business or pleasure?'

A businessman waits for an elevator; on his briefcase are two stickers reading "Up" and "Down".

"We are now boarding priority travellers. Please be ready to present an air of entitlement."

John couldn't help but think that his team had a different perspective on the event than he did...

Airline Mergers.