Business Bar Talkers Gifts

'I've gotten by on imaginative and innovative thinking. In other words, I make it up as I go along.'

"In recognition of last month's little upward blip, I suggest we allow ourselves a spontaneous victory fist bump."

Boss's Desk Says No!

"Mr. Johnson, Bob is kicking me under the table!"

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

'We have a strict don't-ask-don't-tell policy for salaries.'

'Of course I'm out of touch with reality. That's what I came here for.'

"Another flue shot, Larry.

'I'll show you mine, if you show me yours.'

Of course I always start off by wooing a prospective candidate with talk of stimulating work,great colleagues and a reasonable work life balance...but the winning argument is always when I promise them enough money to choke a rhino.

"Sinclair's not all he's cracked up to be. His reputation exceeds him."

'Kroogshank, why do I think that you try to hide from responsibility?'

'We need to boost our earnings by giving our earnings a boost.'

Macho talk from down in accounting.

'Don't you think you've had enough?'

'This isn't a non-profit-making organization you know! Or at least, it wasn't until you started working here!'

"An open one-to-one environment is what you want, an open one-to-one environment is what you get, Ms Praed."

Fisher, this memo of yours, it needs more punch

Boss to employee: 'You think you've got burnout? Are you sure it's not dry rot?'

'All my venture capital is tied up in Miss Umpley, there.'

"Hello darling, what do you do for a living?"

"I finally got that order off Benson last night. He signed it with a chopstick and soya sauce."

'I'd never bite the hand that feeds me - but I won't pull its finger, either.'

"Ssssh. . . it's time for his verbal warning."

"This is a computer speaking. I will now misconnect you and your party."

"I told you never to call me here."

Department of Unrealistic Dividend Earnings: 'We realize it is an unnecessary department but the acronym was just too cool to shut it down.'

'It's not worth worrying about. There's nothing you can do about it. No two quarks in a small region can occupy the same quantum-mechanical state.'

'The divorce was ugly, but not as ugly as the marriage.'

"So Marty, how's business these days?" "Great. I've just sold my homing pigeon for the 34th time."

'Find some people who can be the people who will be my people that get in touch with their people.'

Boring and unnecessary meetings

'Not only could I replace you with a computer, I wouldn't even have to turn it on.'

"So,... Can I call you?"

'The way I got it doped out, post-modern man is all context and fragment.'