Business Bar Talkers T-Shirts

'I've gotten by on imaginative and innovative thinking. In other words, I make it up as I go along.'

"In recognition of last month's little upward blip, I suggest we allow ourselves a spontaneous victory fist bump."

Boss's Desk Says No!

"Mr. Johnson, Bob is kicking me under the table!"

'Of course I'm out of touch with reality. That's what I came here for.'

'We have a strict don't-ask-don't-tell policy for salaries.'

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

"Another flue shot, Larry.

Of course I always start off by wooing a prospective candidate with talk of stimulating work,great colleagues and a reasonable work life balance...but the winning argument is always when I promise them enough money to choke a rhino.

"Sinclair's not all he's cracked up to be. His reputation exceeds him."

'We need to boost our earnings by giving our earnings a boost.'

'Kroogshank, why do I think that you try to hide from responsibility?'

Macho talk from down in accounting.

Fisher, this memo of yours, it needs more punch

'All my venture capital is tied up in Miss Umpley, there.'

"An open one-to-one environment is what you want, an open one-to-one environment is what you get, Ms Praed."

Boss to employee: 'You think you've got burnout? Are you sure it's not dry rot?'

'Don't you think you've had enough?'

'This isn't a non-profit-making organization you know! Or at least, it wasn't until you started working here!'

"Hello darling, what do you do for a living?"

"I finally got that order off Benson last night. He signed it with a chopstick and soya sauce."

"This is a computer speaking. I will now misconnect you and your party."

"I told you never to call me here."

'I'd never bite the hand that feeds me - but I won't pull its finger, either.'

"Ssssh. . . it's time for his verbal warning."

Department of Unrealistic Dividend Earnings: 'We realize it is an unnecessary department but the acronym was just too cool to shut it down.'

'It's not worth worrying about. There's nothing you can do about it. No two quarks in a small region can occupy the same quantum-mechanical state.'

'The divorce was ugly, but not as ugly as the marriage.'

Boring and unnecessary meetings

"So Marty, how's business these days?" "Great. I've just sold my homing pigeon for the 34th time."

'Find some people who can be the people who will be my people that get in touch with their people.'

'The way I got it doped out, post-modern man is all context and fragment.'

"So,... Can I call you?"

'Not only could I replace you with a computer, I wouldn't even have to turn it on.'

'I know people who know people who can't do a damn thing for me.'