Business Bar Humorist Gifts

"My comfort zone is some distance away from the brink but close enough to see competitors go over it."

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

"If nothing else needs welding, Paula, I'm going to lunch."

"So, we look to the fourth quarter as a time of healing."

'It's a deal, lets sniff bottoms!'

"This report is mumbo jumbo...I asked for gobbledeeegook!"

"Any questions?"

"He could have been the national bird, but that was a long, long time ago."

"We're pleased to announce that your company has shrewdly traded a cow for some magic beans." some ma

"Delegating authority is good. Delegating blame is better."

'Gentlemen, I've been authorized to sweeten the offer.'

"In the event of an actual S.E.C. investigation, legal representation will drop from the ceiling."

'We earn extra money by renting out your office at night.'

"Wake up Thomas, it's not 2020. There's no Zoom camera to turn off to hide yourself."

'I met my wife in unfortunate circumstances. I was single.'

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

"What if, instead of the safe being filled with rawhide, it's filled with catnip and mice!" "No one will buy it." "Drugs and rodents? Who's our demographic?" "The Simpsons already did that."

The number one injury in today's workplace: severe bends caused by repeated exposure to deep-dive presentations.

"Hire a cost cutting, bad-guy consultant to turn me into a good guy during the layoffs."

'Ho,ho,ho, but can you be more specific?'

"The anger management consultant said he wasn't going to alter his **** dates at this t****stage which fits in with the 'managing change' consultant who said it was to late to change her plans..."

'And finally. . . where do you see yourself on the food chain 5 years from now?'

'Yo-you Ma will now raise our spirits and assuage our pain.'

'Stay with me now, people, because in Step C, things get a bit delicate.'

'Could we finish these negotiations via e-mail? That will allow me to think before I respond to your proposals.'

"What other tricks does he need?"

'Well, I'm not very satisfied with our customers, either.'

'We have what might be a very good idea...'

'I recognize the face ... I just can't pin down the name.'

'I'm sorry, Henderson - But profits are down and we have to make sacrifices.'

"When we changed the company name, the stocks went through the roof!"

'We want you to get us into the international honey market.'