Bar Humor Buff Gifts

"Oh, He's a local bar fly."

"Stepping on the gown never works. They run faster without it."

"He could have been the national bird, but that was a long, long time ago."

Cat Nip.

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

'The meek shall inherit the Earth!'

The Seven Dwarfs After Therapy

'He does lack social skills.'

'I met my wife in unfortunate circumstances. I was single.'

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

The Golfing Accident

Fishing line going in to water and then dropping down from sky at top of panel.

"And would you like flies with that?"

"Halloween is the perfect time to land on Earth. Nobody will notice us and we can get free candy."

'Try and be pleasant dear, you don't want to alienate it.'

"What other tricks does he need?"

Stepping on clown's shoe...

'My new cellphone has a 'self-help' program...'

"Scientists may need a trillion dollar atom smasher to explore the fundamental questions of the universe, but all you need is one too many."

"The new OS update should fix the bug that makes you want to murder everyone."

"Oh, yeah? Well, you smell nice!"

'I'm sorry, we don't serve spirits.'

"I've told you kids - that's not a toy!"

'We're well positioned, but we lack leadership.'

'Okay, I see it now...lame in the third hind leg on the left side!'

"Beware of God"

'Ah, business as usual.'

Bottle-nosed Dolphins.

'The next case Your Honor, is a palimony suit. The ant vs the grasshopper.'

"While you were out, the staff whittled away your desk into a totem pole."