Bar Humor Lover Gifts

"What does your mother have to do to get a drink around here?"

'At the doubles bar.'

'Quit complaining mister. I'd gladly take your job any day.'

". . . and then I says to the guy, 'how 'bout I pop you in the nose?' and then he goes. . ."

'These drinks have been watered down.'

"...To be exact, I'm 65 million years old!"

Owygzrrk cracks up his friends with his Earthling impression

What's grey, has four legs and a trunk?

'Another tall, cold one?'

"Let's have some fun, guys -- Let's walk into a bar."

'I'm glad you credit my Martinis for helping you break out of your cocoon, but I'm still cutting you off.'

"...And then I forgot where I put my memory stick!"

"Don't believe a word he says, he told me that his sister is 150 and has just gone out dancing. WITH HER FATHER!"

"Let's just put a pin in our conversation until you get a better handle on that white fragility thing."

"Sorry, we're all out of grog, Honey. But, we have plenty of water -- distilled, fresh and ocean."

"If that's the chief medical officer I'm not here."

"What! You telling me I'm extinct?"

'So...Do you leave here often?'

'A ventriloquist, eh? -- What do ventriloquists believe in?'

'Drink makes you want to shoot your wife and miss.'

'Hell, no, I don't want any sake.'

Suddenly the bar went silent. Somebody coughed.

"How about coming back to my place and I'll show you my body art?"

A Bar Stool

'My family replaced me with an app.'

'I play a lot of sports.'

"I think your ride is here."

"My secretary doesn't understand me."

Your next drink is on me, pretty lady! Would you like it on your head or on your lap? (This cartoon was originally published on 2010-08-18).

I'm used to seeing crocodile tears when I tell off a man in this bar, but this is the first time I've seen crocodile exclamation points. ! !

"He could have been the national bird, but that was a long, long time ago."

'I met my wife in unfortunate circumstances. I was single.'

'Gimme a Canadian club on the rocks!'

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

"What other tricks does he need?"