Bar Humour Lover Gifts

"In an effort to conserve water... I've stopped having it in my whisky."

"He could have been the national bird, but that was a long, long time ago."

'I met my wife in unfortunate circumstances. I was single.'

'Gimme a Canadian club on the rocks!'

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

"What other tricks does he need?"

'I like you, you've got balls.'

"Scientists may need a trillion dollar atom smasher to explore the fundamental questions of the universe, but all you need is one too many."

Complementary Beverages

"I just saw some confused old goat pee all over the bathroom floor." "That was a mirror. And that wasn't the bathroom."

"Drinking improves my vodkabulary."

'Next time you hear confession from that barmaid say, Tut-tut not COR.'

"It feels like me against the world but it's actually just the state of Connecticut."

"So who ordered the 'Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum on a dead mans chest'?"

". . . so a duck walks into a . . ."

'Of all the fern bars in Encino, she's gotta walk into mine.'

"It's easy for me. Three beers and I'm in the zone."

Mo's USA Bar: Tips/Tariffs

"I'm supposed to meet a minister and a priest here..."

'These drinks have been watered down.'

"Would you please sip your drink and not swill it!"

If a motorist came bursting through the doors...would he be up for damages?

Virtual Lap Dancing

'I'd like to get in touch with my feminine side, Joe -- bring me a Bloody Mary.'

"I feel like I've just been played my whole life."

"It's Olive isn't it?"

'Yeah, but did you hear the crowd roar when I hooked the cape out of your hands?'

'I'd like a brandy please...'

Bar, My dog doesn't understand me.

BEER BELLY

'That's right. Ploughman's lunch; Egg, beans and sausage. It's what he orders every time he comes in here.'

'Here's the secret to a profitable 99-cent pint night - 14 ounces of foam, 2 ounces of beer.'

"No thanks, just the peanuts."

"Let's have some fun, guys -- Let's walk into a bar."

"I couldn't help overhearing what you ladies said about all the chlorine in the toilet water, and I could not agree more."