Bar Humour Lover Gifts

"In an effort to conserve water... I've stopped having it in my whisky."

"He could have been the national bird, but that was a long, long time ago."

'Gimme a Canadian club on the rocks!'

'I met my wife in unfortunate circumstances. I was single.'

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

"What other tricks does he need?"

'I like you, you've got balls.'

"Scientists may need a trillion dollar atom smasher to explore the fundamental questions of the universe, but all you need is one too many."

Complementary Beverages

"It feels like me against the world but it's actually just the state of Connecticut."

"So who ordered the 'Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum on a dead mans chest'?"

"Drinking improves my vodkabulary."

"I just saw some confused old goat pee all over the bathroom floor." "That was a mirror. And that wasn't the bathroom."

'Next time you hear confession from that barmaid say, Tut-tut not COR.'

". . . so a duck walks into a . . ."

Mo's USA Bar: Tips/Tariffs

'Of all the fern bars in Encino, she's gotta walk into mine.'

"It's easy for me. Three beers and I'm in the zone."

"I'm supposed to meet a minister and a priest here..."

'These drinks have been watered down.'

'I'd like to get in touch with my feminine side, Joe -- bring me a Bloody Mary.'

Virtual Lap Dancing

"It's Olive isn't it?"

If a motorist came bursting through the doors...would he be up for damages?

"I feel like I've just been played my whole life."

"Would you please sip your drink and not swill it!"

'Yeah, but did you hear the crowd roar when I hooked the cape out of your hands?'

'I'd like a brandy please...'

'That's right. Ploughman's lunch; Egg, beans and sausage. It's what he orders every time he comes in here.'

"I couldn't help overhearing what you ladies said about all the chlorine in the toilet water, and I could not agree more."

BEER BELLY

"No thanks, just the peanuts."

'Here's the secret to a profitable 99-cent pint night - 14 ounces of foam, 2 ounces of beer.'

"If that's the chief medical officer I'm not here."

"Let's have some fun, guys -- Let's walk into a bar."