Lover Of Bar Humor Gifts

"I just saw some confused old goat pee all over the bathroom floor." "That was a mirror. And that wasn't the bathroom."

"He could have been the national bird, but that was a long, long time ago."

'Gimme a Canadian club on the rocks!'

'I met my wife in unfortunate circumstances. I was single.'

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

“I may not know much about books, but I do know which titles burn best.”

"What other tricks does he need?"

'I like you, you've got balls.'

"Scientists may need a trillion dollar atom smasher to explore the fundamental questions of the universe, but all you need is one too many."

Complementary Beverages

"It feels like me against the world but it's actually just the state of Connecticut."

"Drinking improves my vodkabulary."

"So who ordered the 'Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum on a dead mans chest'?"

'Next time you hear confession from that barmaid say, Tut-tut not COR.'

'I feel cosmopolitan tonight, Joe - Give me a scotch with an irish Chaser.'

". . . so a duck walks into a . . ."

"It's easy for me. Three beers and I'm in the zone."

'Of all the fern bars in Encino, she's gotta walk into mine.'

Mo's USA Bar: Tips/Tariffs

'These drinks have been watered down.'

"I feel like I've just been played my whole life."

'Did you or did you not tell me to collect EVERYBODY'S glasses?'

Virtual Lap Dancing

"It's Olive isn't it?"

'I'd like to get in touch with my feminine side, Joe -- bring me a Bloody Mary.'

If a motorist came bursting through the doors...would he be up for damages?

"Would you please sip your drink and not swill it!"

'Yeah, but did you hear the crowd roar when I hooked the cape out of your hands?'

'I'd like a brandy please...'

"No thanks, just the peanuts."

'Here's the secret to a profitable 99-cent pint night - 14 ounces of foam, 2 ounces of beer.'

"Let's have some fun, guys -- Let's walk into a bar."

BEER BELLY

"If that's the chief medical officer I'm not here."