Lover Of Bar Humor Pillows

"I just saw some confused old goat pee all over the bathroom floor." "That was a mirror. And that wasn't the bathroom."

"He could have been the national bird, but that was a long, long time ago."

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

'I met my wife in unfortunate circumstances. I was single.'

'Gimme a Canadian club on the rocks!'

“I may not know much about books, but I do know which titles burn best.”

"What other tricks does he need?"

'I like you, you've got balls.'

"Scientists may need a trillion dollar atom smasher to explore the fundamental questions of the universe, but all you need is one too many."

Complementary Beverages

"Drinking improves my vodkabulary."

'I feel cosmopolitan tonight, Joe - Give me a scotch with an irish Chaser.'

'Next time you hear confession from that barmaid say, Tut-tut not COR.'

"So who ordered the 'Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum on a dead mans chest'?"

"It feels like me against the world but it's actually just the state of Connecticut."

". . . so a duck walks into a . . ."

'Of all the fern bars in Encino, she's gotta walk into mine.'

"It's easy for me. Three beers and I'm in the zone."

Mo's USA Bar: Tips/Tariffs

'These drinks have been watered down.'

"Would you please sip your drink and not swill it!"

Virtual Lap Dancing

If a motorist came bursting through the doors...would he be up for damages?

"It's Olive isn't it?"

'I'd like to get in touch with my feminine side, Joe -- bring me a Bloody Mary.'

'Did you or did you not tell me to collect EVERYBODY'S glasses?'

"I feel like I've just been played my whole life."

'Yeah, but did you hear the crowd roar when I hooked the cape out of your hands?'

Bar, My dog doesn't understand me.

'Who was that Chad?' 'Ahh, just an old flame of mine.' Two candles at the bar talking about the flame walking out the door

'Here's the secret to a profitable 99-cent pint night - 14 ounces of foam, 2 ounces of beer.'

"I couldn't help overhearing what you ladies said about all the chlorine in the toilet water, and I could not agree more."

"Let's have some fun, guys -- Let's walk into a bar."

"If that's the chief medical officer I'm not here."