Bar Humor Fans Pillows

"Laugh if you will, but my kind once ruled the earth."

Virtual Lap Dancing

Mr.Tickle...

"He could have been the national bird, but that was a long, long time ago."

'I met my wife in unfortunate circumstances. I was single.'

'Gimme a Canadian club on the rocks!'

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

"What other tricks does he need?"

"Scientists may need a trillion dollar atom smasher to explore the fundamental questions of the universe, but all you need is one too many."

Complementary Beverages

"I just saw some confused old goat pee all over the bathroom floor." "That was a mirror. And that wasn't the bathroom."

"Drinking improves my vodkabulary."

"So who ordered the 'Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum on a dead mans chest'?"

". . . so a duck walks into a . . ."

'Of all the fern bars in Encino, she's gotta walk into mine.'

Mo's USA Bar: Tips/Tariffs

'These drinks have been watered down.'

"Harpy Hour."

If a motorist came bursting through the doors...would he be up for damages?

"I feel like I've just been played my whole life."

"Would you please sip your drink and not swill it!"

'That's right. Ploughman's lunch; Egg, beans and sausage. It's what he orders every time he comes in here.'

"Oi, who are you bleedin' looking at?"

'I'd like a brandy please...'

"Let's have some fun, guys -- Let's walk into a bar."

"If that's the chief medical officer I'm not here."

"I couldn't help overhearing what you ladies said about all the chlorine in the toilet water, and I could not agree more."

"No thanks, just the peanuts."

No shirt, no shoes, no service.

'What is this, some kind of joke?'

"Wow, that's amazing! I've only been to this bar once before. I'm surprised you remembered my round!"

'I'm having what he's having.'

People talking through a stethoscope.

"In an effort to conserve water... I've stopped having it in my whisky."

"Leave the toilet."