Bar Humor Fans Pillows

"Laugh if you will, but my kind once ruled the earth."

Virtual Lap Dancing

Mr.Tickle...

"He could have been the national bird, but that was a long, long time ago."

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

'Gimme a Canadian club on the rocks!'

'I met my wife in unfortunate circumstances. I was single.'

"What other tricks does he need?"

"Scientists may need a trillion dollar atom smasher to explore the fundamental questions of the universe, but all you need is one too many."

Complementary Beverages

"So who ordered the 'Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum on a dead mans chest'?"

"Drinking improves my vodkabulary."

"I just saw some confused old goat pee all over the bathroom floor." "That was a mirror. And that wasn't the bathroom."

". . . so a duck walks into a . . ."

'Of all the fern bars in Encino, she's gotta walk into mine.'

Mo's USA Bar: Tips/Tariffs

'These drinks have been watered down.'

"Would you please sip your drink and not swill it!"

"Harpy Hour."

If a motorist came bursting through the doors...would he be up for damages?

"I feel like I've just been played my whole life."

"If that's the chief medical officer I'm not here."

Bar, My dog doesn't understand me.

'That's right. Ploughman's lunch; Egg, beans and sausage. It's what he orders every time he comes in here.'

"I couldn't help overhearing what you ladies said about all the chlorine in the toilet water, and I could not agree more."

No shirt, no shoes, no service.

"Oi, who are you bleedin' looking at?"

"No thanks, just the peanuts."

"Let's have some fun, guys -- Let's walk into a bar."

'I'd like a brandy please...'

'What is this, some kind of joke?'

"As this is our first date, perhaps I should tell you that I participate in several frequent liar programmes."

What's grey, has four legs and a trunk?

People talking through a stethoscope.

'I'm glad you credit my Martinis for helping you break out of your cocoon, but I'm still cutting you off.'