Pub Humor Fans Pillows

"Don't mind me, Riche – it's just the rabies talking."

'Gimme a Canadian club on the rocks!'

Complementary Beverages

". . . so a duck walks into a . . ."

Virtual Lap Dancing

"Harpy Hour."

"I feel like I've just been played my whole life."

'Did you or did you not tell me to collect EVERYBODY'S glasses?'

"Fetch and roll over weren't enough-then they sent me to philosophy classes."

No shirt, no shoes, no service.

"Oi, who are you bleedin' looking at?"

'He's clever alright-just watch him dry up when it's HIS round!'

Guest Beers / Guest Beer Belly

"Leave the toilet."

No glasses to be taken outside.

'My beer's not cloudy. The glasses are dirty.'

"I'm not sure I can really help you. I've dealt with hundreds of rodent infestations, but I've never even heard of Beerkats!"

'I'm sorry, boss, but you tell them to leave.'

"Laugh if you will, but my kind once ruled the earth."

Drunken Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer.

'You better not start anything...'

"To be fair - he DID say he was going to rearrange your face...!"

"A tax inspector dies and ends up in hell.... Than't's the funniest joke I've heard all night."

'Our eyes met across a crowded room, and she called the cops.'

"I drink to forget."

Santa's Little Enablers

'That perfume you're wearing smells funny. I love it!'

"Say, do you have the correct moon-phase?"

"No, no, no! We never start playing with an empty jar!"

'Ewe are baa-ed!'

Bear in a bar going to the door marked 'Woods' next to the toilet door

Happy Hour - No Smell of Cooking

"I'm not saying you're making it up but I think I'd remember if I'd stepped on your face."