Pub Humor Enthusiasts Pillows

"Oi, who are you bleedin' looking at?"

'Gimme a Canadian club on the rocks!'

Complementary Beverages

". . . so a duck walks into a . . ."

'These drinks have been watered down.'

Virtual Lap Dancing

"I feel like I've just been played my whole life."

"Harpy Hour."

'Did you or did you not tell me to collect EVERYBODY'S glasses?'

"Fetch and roll over weren't enough-then they sent me to philosophy classes."

No shirt, no shoes, no service.

'He's clever alright-just watch him dry up when it's HIS round!'

"If that's the chief medical officer I'm not here."

"Let's have some fun, guys -- Let's walk into a bar."

"Leave the toilet."

No glasses to be taken outside.

'Hell, no, I don't want any sake.'

What's grey, has four legs and a trunk?

"In an effort to conserve water... I've stopped having it in my whisky."

"I'm not sure I can really help you. I've dealt with hundreds of rodent infestations, but I've never even heard of Beerkats!"

'My beer's not cloudy. The glasses are dirty.'

'I'm sorry, boss, but you tell them to leave.'

'I'm glad you credit my Martinis for helping you break out of your cocoon, but I'm still cutting you off.'

'You STUPID fool Ryan! Didn't i warn you not to go JUDGING his cover?!' / A book has just been bashed around a bit for judging another book's cover.

"Laugh if you will, but my kind once ruled the earth."

'I don't think I've seen your brother, what does he look like?'

Drunken Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer.

"To be fair - he DID say he was going to rearrange your face...!"

'Another tall, cold one?'

"I drink to forget."

'You better not start anything...'

Santa's Little Enablers

'That perfume you're wearing smells funny. I love it!'