Lover Of Pub Humor Pillows

"Thank you for not overreacting to economic indicators!"

'Gimme a Canadian club on the rocks!'

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

"I just saw some confused old goat pee all over the bathroom floor." "That was a mirror. And that wasn't the bathroom."

"So who ordered the 'Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum on a dead mans chest'?"

A virtue of vicars

'Did you or did you not tell me to collect EVERYBODY'S glasses?'

"Harpy Hour."

Follow England mate, they're always crap!

"Fetch and roll over weren't enough-then they sent me to philosophy classes."

"Her ladyship isn't in—wait, yes, no—so sorry, she's out."

"I couldn't help overhearing what you ladies said about all the chlorine in the toilet water, and I could not agree more."

No shirt, no shoes, no service.

"Oi, who are you bleedin' looking at?"

'He's clever alright-just watch him dry up when it's HIS round!'

"I know you didn't order meatballs. That's the gravy."

All I'm sayin is let he who has not driven naked and stoned cast the first stone...

"I should give myself up... I'm a bad habit!"

"In an effort to conserve water... I've stopped having it in my whisky."

'I'm sorry, boss, but you tell them to leave.'

No glasses to be taken outside.

"I'm not sure I can really help you. I've dealt with hundreds of rodent infestations, but I've never even heard of Beerkats!"

'My beer's not cloudy. The glasses are dirty.'

'You STUPID fool Ryan! Didn't i warn you not to go JUDGING his cover?!' / A book has just been bashed around a bit for judging another book's cover.

'I don't think I've seen your brother, what does he look like?'

'You better not start anything...'

'Our eyes met across a crowded room, and she called the cops.'

'If that's my wife, tell her meow, meuwwf, meew, hiss.'

Biclops: "...and then I was outed in '84 and force to admit I liked the men as well as the ladies."

"To be fair - he DID say he was going to rearrange your face...!"

"I'd like a glass of tap water, a dirty look and a sarcastic comment please."

"Don't mind me, Riche – it's just the rabies talking."

"You set 'em up with one of these babies, and they're good for the night."

'That perfume you're wearing smells funny. I love it!'

"Say, do you have the correct moon-phase?"