Pub Humor Lover Pillows

'After you. So courteous, he always lets me in first, so I have to buy the first round.'

Bear in a bar going to the door marked 'Woods' next to the toilet door

'Gimme a Canadian club on the rocks!'

"Joe's trying to get around the smoking ban."

Best Before 5th Pint.

"I think we may be related!"

"Stranger, you're sitting in the boss's personal spot. That's why they moved the dart board over your head."

'You can't come in here with that.'

'Beer's more than just a food -- it's a comfort food!'

Complementary Beverages

'Make it a microbrew, Jake! I've gone organic!'

"You lack spontaniety."

His & hers towels.

The origin of storms. (Gods playing 'darts' in a pub with lighting bolts and globe).

"I just saw some confused old goat pee all over the bathroom floor." "That was a mirror. And that wasn't the bathroom."

Pint

"[Old Steak Bone Tavern]"

'Fancy a swift half?'

The First Roast Chicken.

'Just too many choices.'

The Old Dun Cow - Bitter & twisted.

'These drinks have been watered down.'

"I've built this business up from scratch. . . "

Virtual Lap Dancing

It wasn't just the food, Mitch's Sports Bar had really changed.

"I feel like I've just been played my whole life."

"Harpy Hour."

"I don't have any money. I'm a mullet."

"The doctor told him to exercise more, so he jogs to the pub."

'Did you or did you not tell me to collect EVERYBODY'S glasses?'

"Are you seeing anyone?"

"Fetch and roll over weren't enough-then they sent me to philosophy classes."

"The farmer's had the shepherd's pie 'cos the shepherd had the ploughman's..."

'I'm having trouble with drinking. . . I'm getting Arthritis in my elbow.'

"If that's the chief medical officer I'm not here."