Pub Joke Enthusiast Pillows

"A tax inspector dies and ends up in hell.... Than't's the funniest joke I've heard all night."

"Let's go have some fun."

'Gimme a Canadian club on the rocks!'

Pub restrooms; Thugs - Thugettes

A planet like ours - pub quiz dolphin

'Fancy a swift half?'

". . . so a duck walks into a . . ."

"I'm supposed to meet a minister and a priest here..."

"Harpy Hour."

'Did you or did you not tell me to collect EVERYBODY'S glasses?'

"Fetch and roll over weren't enough-then they sent me to philosophy classes."

'He's clever alright-just watch him dry up when it's HIS round!'

"Oi, who are you bleedin' looking at?"

'I'm sorry, I won't be home for supper love, I've got detention.'

No shirt, no shoes, no service.

'What is this, some kind of joke?'

'My beer's not cloudy. The glasses are dirty.'

No glasses to be taken outside.

Pub quiz dolphin - "He may possess a unique intellect but does he know the capital of Algeria?"

"I'm not sure I can really help you. I've dealt with hundreds of rodent infestations, but I've never even heard of Beerkats!"

'I'm sorry, boss, but you tell them to leave.'

"Actually, I'm from New Jersey. The nickname comes from thirty years in the textile business."

'You STUPID fool Ryan! Didn't i warn you not to go JUDGING his cover?!' / A book has just been bashed around a bit for judging another book's cover.

'I don't think I've seen your brother, what does he look like?'

'Will the lady be coming back, Sir? She hasn't finished her drink.'

'You better not start anything...'

"Don't mind me, Riche – it's just the rabies talking."

"You set 'em up with one of these babies, and they're good for the night."

"To be fair - he DID say he was going to rearrange your face...!"

'Our eyes met across a crowded room, and she called the cops.'

'If that's my wife, tell her meow, meuwwf, meew, hiss.'

'That perfume you're wearing smells funny. I love it!'

"Say, do you have the correct moon-phase?"

"Do you think terrorists could ever poison the vodka supply?"

Pub quiz night.