Pub Joke Enthusiast Mugs

"A tax inspector dies and ends up in hell.... Than't's the funniest joke I've heard all night."

"Let's go have some fun."

'Gimme a Canadian club on the rocks!'

Pub restrooms; Thugs - Thugettes

A planet like ours - pub quiz dolphin

'Fancy a swift half?'

". . . so a duck walks into a . . ."

"I'm supposed to meet a minister and a priest here..."

'Did you or did you not tell me to collect EVERYBODY'S glasses?'

"Harpy Hour."

"Fetch and roll over weren't enough-then they sent me to philosophy classes."

No shirt, no shoes, no service.

'I'm sorry, I won't be home for supper love, I've got detention.'

'He's clever alright-just watch him dry up when it's HIS round!'

"Oi, who are you bleedin' looking at?"

'What is this, some kind of joke?'

'I'm sorry, boss, but you tell them to leave.'

'My beer's not cloudy. The glasses are dirty.'

No glasses to be taken outside.

Pub quiz dolphin - "He may possess a unique intellect but does he know the capital of Algeria?"

"I'm not sure I can really help you. I've dealt with hundreds of rodent infestations, but I've never even heard of Beerkats!"

Early Greek Humor. I love Aristotle, but oh, Eu-clid!

"Actually, I'm from New Jersey. The nickname comes from thirty years in the textile business."

'You STUPID fool Ryan! Didn't i warn you not to go JUDGING his cover?!' / A book has just been bashed around a bit for judging another book's cover.

'Will the lady be coming back, Sir? She hasn't finished her drink.'

'I don't think I've seen your brother, what does he look like?'

"To be fair - he DID say he was going to rearrange your face...!"

'Our eyes met across a crowded room, and she called the cops.'

'If that's my wife, tell her meow, meuwwf, meew, hiss.'

"Don't mind me, Riche – it's just the rabies talking."

"You set 'em up with one of these babies, and they're good for the night."

'You better not start anything...'

'That perfume you're wearing smells funny. I love it!'

"Say, do you have the correct moon-phase?"

"Do you think terrorists could ever poison the vodka supply?"