Pub Humor Fans Gifts

"Don't mind me, Riche – it's just the rabies talking."

'Gimme a Canadian club on the rocks!'

Complementary Beverages

". . . so a duck walks into a . . ."

Virtual Lap Dancing

"I feel like I've just been played my whole life."

'Did you or did you not tell me to collect EVERYBODY'S glasses?'

"Harpy Hour."

"Fetch and roll over weren't enough-then they sent me to philosophy classes."

No shirt, no shoes, no service.

Bar, My dog doesn't understand me.

"Oi, who are you bleedin' looking at?"

'He's clever alright-just watch him dry up when it's HIS round!'

Guest Beers / Guest Beer Belly

No glasses to be taken outside.

"Leave the toilet."

"I'm not sure I can really help you. I've dealt with hundreds of rodent infestations, but I've never even heard of Beerkats!"

'I'm sorry, boss, but you tell them to leave.'

'My beer's not cloudy. The glasses are dirty.'

"Laugh if you will, but my kind once ruled the earth."

Drunken Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer.

'You better not start anything...'

"To be fair - he DID say he was going to rearrange your face...!"

'Our eyes met across a crowded room, and she called the cops.'

"I drink to forget."

Santa's Little Enablers

"A tax inspector dies and ends up in hell.... Than't's the funniest joke I've heard all night."

'That perfume you're wearing smells funny. I love it!'

"Say, do you have the correct moon-phase?"

"No, no, no! We never start playing with an empty jar!"

'Ewe are baa-ed!'

DRAFT BOARD

"Joe's trying to get around the smoking ban."

Don't worry�. I'm not a dog, I'm a wolverine. I'm not worried� I'm not a fire hydrant, I'm a parking meter.

"I'm not saying you're making it up but I think I'd remember if I'd stepped on your face."