Pub Humor Fan Gifts

"Harpy Hour."

Yes, this is primarily a horse bar, but the horse community is very welcoming. And no, you won't be hit on. You come off as extremely non-horse. ?

No shirt, no shoes, no service.

Bugs bar - '...usual poison pal?'

'You better not start anything...'

No glasses to be taken outside.

"You look like a right dogs' dinner mate..."

'Gimme a Canadian club on the rocks!'

Complementary Beverages

Pub restrooms; Thugs - Thugettes

"Look at Ernie. He's so tipsy, he's walking face forward."

". . . so a duck walks into a . . ."

'These drinks have been watered down.'

'Did you or did you not tell me to collect EVERYBODY'S glasses?'

Virtual Lap Dancing

"I feel like I've just been played my whole life."

Cars.

"Fetch and roll over weren't enough-then they sent me to philosophy classes."

"If that's the chief medical officer I'm not here."

'He's clever alright-just watch him dry up when it's HIS round!'

"Let's have some fun, guys -- Let's walk into a bar."

Bar, My dog doesn't understand me.

"Oi, who are you bleedin' looking at?"

Guest Beers / Guest Beer Belly

"I'm not sure I can really help you. I've dealt with hundreds of rodent infestations, but I've never even heard of Beerkats!"

Cowboy posting notices saying WANTED...FOR FLYPOSTING

"...And then I forgot where I put my memory stick!"

"Leave the toilet."

'My beer's not cloudy. The glasses are dirty.'

'Hell, no, I don't want any sake.'

'I'm glad you credit my Martinis for helping you break out of your cocoon, but I'm still cutting you off.'

I'm used to seeing crocodile tears when I tell off a man in this bar, but this is the first time I've seen crocodile exclamation points. ! !

What's grey, has four legs and a trunk?

'I'm sorry, boss, but you tell them to leave.'

'You STUPID fool Ryan! Didn't i warn you not to go JUDGING his cover?!' / A book has just been bashed around a bit for judging another book's cover.