Pub Humor Enthusiast Gifts

Fireman attempts to rescue trapped children from pub foot rail

'Who was that Brad?' 'Ahh,just an old girlfriend of mine.' (an old lady walking away in background)

'I'm sorry, boss, but you tell them to leave.'

JOE'S BAR, 'You can't call Joe a racist for throwing you out, dummy - you're both WHITE!'

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

'Gimme a Canadian club on the rocks!'

Complementary Beverages

"I just saw some confused old goat pee all over the bathroom floor." "That was a mirror. And that wasn't the bathroom."

"So who ordered the 'Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum on a dead mans chest'?"

'These drinks have been watered down.'

Virtual Lap Dancing

'Did you or did you not tell me to collect EVERYBODY'S glasses?'

"I feel like I've just been played my whole life."

"Harpy Hour."

"Fetch and roll over weren't enough-then they sent me to philosophy classes."

"Oi, who are you bleedin' looking at?"

"I couldn't help overhearing what you ladies said about all the chlorine in the toilet water, and I could not agree more."

No shirt, no shoes, no service.

"If that's the chief medical officer I'm not here."

"Let's have some fun, guys -- Let's walk into a bar."

'He's clever alright-just watch him dry up when it's HIS round!'

'Hell, no, I don't want any sake.'

'My beer's not cloudy. The glasses are dirty.'

'I'm glad you credit my Martinis for helping you break out of your cocoon, but I'm still cutting you off.'

Guest Beers/Guest Urinal

What's grey, has four legs and a trunk?

"I should give myself up... I'm a bad habit!"

All I'm sayin is let he who has not driven naked and stoned cast the first stone...

"Leave the toilet."

"I'm not sure I can really help you. I've dealt with hundreds of rodent infestations, but I've never even heard of Beerkats!"

"In an effort to conserve water... I've stopped having it in my whisky."

No glasses to be taken outside.

'You STUPID fool Ryan! Didn't i warn you not to go JUDGING his cover?!' / A book has just been bashed around a bit for judging another book's cover.

"Laugh if you will, but my kind once ruled the earth."

Drunken Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer.