Pub Humor Fan T-Shirts

"Harpy Hour."

No shirt, no shoes, no service.

Bugs bar - '...usual poison pal?'

'You better not start anything...'

No glasses to be taken outside.

"You look like a right dogs' dinner mate..."

'Gimme a Canadian club on the rocks!'

Complementary Beverages

Pub restrooms; Thugs - Thugettes

". . . so a duck walks into a . . ."

'These drinks have been watered down.'

Virtual Lap Dancing

Cars.

"I feel like I've just been played my whole life."

'Did you or did you not tell me to collect EVERYBODY'S glasses?'

"Fetch and roll over weren't enough-then they sent me to philosophy classes."

"Oi, who are you bleedin' looking at?"

"If that's the chief medical officer I'm not here."

"Let's have some fun, guys -- Let's walk into a bar."

'He's clever alright-just watch him dry up when it's HIS round!'

Guest Beers / Guest Beer Belly

Cowboy posting notices saying WANTED...FOR FLYPOSTING

'I'm glad you credit my Martinis for helping you break out of your cocoon, but I'm still cutting you off.'

"Leave the toilet."

'I'm sorry, boss, but you tell them to leave.'

What's grey, has four legs and a trunk?

'My beer's not cloudy. The glasses are dirty.'

"I'm not sure I can really help you. I've dealt with hundreds of rodent infestations, but I've never even heard of Beerkats!"

'Hell, no, I don't want any sake.'

'You STUPID fool Ryan! Didn't i warn you not to go JUDGING his cover?!' / A book has just been bashed around a bit for judging another book's cover.

"Laugh if you will, but my kind once ruled the earth."

Drunken Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer.

'I don't think I've seen your brother, what does he look like?'

"I'd like a glass of tap water, a dirty look and a sarcastic comment please."

'Another tall, cold one?'