Bar Humor Lover Pillows

"What does your mother have to do to get a drink around here?"

'At the doubles bar.'

'Quit complaining mister. I'd gladly take your job any day.'

". . . and then I says to the guy, 'how 'bout I pop you in the nose?' and then he goes. . ."

'These drinks have been watered down.'

"...To be exact, I'm 65 million years old!"

Owygzrrk cracks up his friends with his Earthling impression

What's grey, has four legs and a trunk?

'Another tall, cold one?'

"Let's have some fun, guys -- Let's walk into a bar."

'I'm glad you credit my Martinis for helping you break out of your cocoon, but I'm still cutting you off.'

"Don't believe a word he says, he told me that his sister is 150 and has just gone out dancing. WITH HER FATHER!"

"Let's just put a pin in our conversation until you get a better handle on that white fragility thing."

"Sorry, we're all out of grog, Honey. But, we have plenty of water -- distilled, fresh and ocean."

"If that's the chief medical officer I'm not here."

"What! You telling me I'm extinct?"

'So...Do you leave here often?'

'A ventriloquist, eh? -- What do ventriloquists believe in?'

'Drink makes you want to shoot your wife and miss.'

'Hell, no, I don't want any sake.'

Suddenly the bar went silent. Somebody coughed.

"How about coming back to my place and I'll show you my body art?"

A Bar Stool

'My family replaced me with an app.'

'I play a lot of sports.'

"I think your ride is here."

"My secretary doesn't understand me."

"He could have been the national bird, but that was a long, long time ago."

'Gimme a Canadian club on the rocks!'

'I met my wife in unfortunate circumstances. I was single.'

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

"What other tricks does he need?"

'I like you, you've got balls.'

"Scientists may need a trillion dollar atom smasher to explore the fundamental questions of the universe, but all you need is one too many."

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