Bar Joke Lover Pillows

"Do you think terrorists could ever poison the vodka supply?"

'What is this, some kind of joke?'

"Actually, I'm from New Jersey. The nickname comes from thirty years in the textile business."

'Sex is like insurance...the older I get the more it costs.'

". . . so a duck walks into a . . ."

Joe's Bar - Not responsible for drunks left over 24 hours.

"Are you lot going to order a drink or is this some sort of a joke?"

Nice try, but you can't blame your empty highball on global warming.

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

'I like you, you've got balls.'

"Scientists may need a trillion dollar atom smasher to explore the fundamental questions of the universe, but all you need is one too many."

Complementary Beverages

"So who ordered the 'Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum on a dead mans chest'?"

'We are now entering sombre hour, happy hour has finished.'

'Next time you hear confession from that barmaid say, Tut-tut not COR.'

"It feels like me against the world but it's actually just the state of Connecticut."

"I just saw some confused old goat pee all over the bathroom floor." "That was a mirror. And that wasn't the bathroom."

"It's easy for me. Three beers and I'm in the zone."

"I'm supposed to meet a minister and a priest here..."

'These drinks have been watered down.'

"I feel like I've just been played my whole life."

Virtual Lap Dancing

"It's Olive isn't it?"

'Yeah, but did you hear the crowd roar when I hooked the cape out of your hands?'

'Here's the secret to a profitable 99-cent pint night - 14 ounces of foam, 2 ounces of beer.'

"Let's have some fun, guys -- Let's walk into a bar."

"I couldn't help overhearing what you ladies said about all the chlorine in the toilet water, and I could not agree more."

"If that's the chief medical officer I'm not here."

BEER BELLY

Drunken hamster at the bar says to the Easter Bunny: 'You got lucky, Bunny. Things could've been so different for the Harvest Festival Hamster.'

'What I've just has my teeth whitened,'

'Hell, no, I don't want any sake.'

"I should give myself up... I'm a bad habit!"

"Leave the toilet."

'Really? A Great Ape? I'm a Great Dane myself...'