Bar Joke Fan Pillows

'How's my Husband? Not too well - You're sitting on him!'

Complementary Beverages

'We are now entering sombre hour, happy hour has finished.'

". . . so a duck walks into a . . ."

'These drinks have been watered down.'

"I'm supposed to meet a minister and a priest here..."

"I feel like I've just been played my whole life."

"Harpy Hour."

Virtual Lap Dancing

"What I drink and what I tell the pollsters I drink are two different things."

"If that's the chief medical officer I'm not here."

Drunken hamster at the bar says to the Easter Bunny: 'You got lucky, Bunny. Things could've been so different for the Harvest Festival Hamster.'

No shirt, no shoes, no service.

"Yeah, I'm selling my bowling balls. Free delivery to anyone who lives downhill."

"Let's have some fun, guys -- Let's walk into a bar."

'What is this, some kind of joke?'

'Hell, no, I don't want any sake.'

"In an effort to conserve water... I've stopped having it in my whisky."

"Leave the toilet."

'I'm glad you credit my Martinis for helping you break out of your cocoon, but I'm still cutting you off.'

What's grey, has four legs and a trunk?

"I hear alcohol slows reactions..."

No glasses to be taken outside.

'Are you trying to be funny?'

'So...your Bowel or mine?' / A male tapeworm using a pick-up line on a female tapeworm

'You STUPID fool Ryan! Didn't i warn you not to go JUDGING his cover?!' / A book has just been bashed around a bit for judging another book's cover.

"Actually, I'm from New Jersey. The nickname comes from thirty years in the textile business."

"Laugh if you will, but my kind once ruled the earth."

'I don't think I've seen your brother, what does he look like?'

Drunken Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer.

'Will the lady be coming back, Sir? She hasn't finished her drink.'

The Forgotten Men's Club