Bar Humor Fanatics Pillows

'Ewe are baa-ed!'

"He could have been the national bird, but that was a long, long time ago."

'I met my wife in unfortunate circumstances. I was single.'

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

"What other tricks does he need?"

"Scientists may need a trillion dollar atom smasher to explore the fundamental questions of the universe, but all you need is one too many."

Complementary Beverages

"Drinking improves my vodkabulary."

"I just saw some confused old goat pee all over the bathroom floor." "That was a mirror. And that wasn't the bathroom."

"So who ordered the 'Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum on a dead mans chest'?"

". . . so a duck walks into a . . ."

'Of all the fern bars in Encino, she's gotta walk into mine.'

Mo's USA Bar: Tips/Tariffs

'These drinks have been watered down.'

"Mister, I don't know if the glass is half full or half empty. It's 12 dollars."

"I feel like I've just been played my whole life."

'I'd like to get in touch with my feminine side, Joe -- bring me a Bloody Mary.'

If a motorist came bursting through the doors...would he be up for damages?

Virtual Lap Dancing

"Would you please sip your drink and not swill it!"

"Let's just agree to disagree." "I suggested that first!"

"If that's the chief medical officer I'm not here."

"Let's have some fun, guys -- Let's walk into a bar."

'My opinion, right or wrong!'

'I'd like a brandy please...'

'That's right. Ploughman's lunch; Egg, beans and sausage. It's what he orders every time he comes in here.'

"Oi, who are you bleedin' looking at?"

"I couldn't help overhearing what you ladies said about all the chlorine in the toilet water, and I could not agree more."

"No thanks, just the peanuts."

'What is this, some kind of joke?'

"We met in the Galapagos."

People talking through a stethoscope.

"Leave the toilet."

"As this is our first date, perhaps I should tell you that I participate in several frequent liar programmes."

"In an effort to conserve water... I've stopped having it in my whisky."