Bar Humor Fanatics Pillows

'Ewe are baa-ed!'

"He could have been the national bird, but that was a long, long time ago."

'I met my wife in unfortunate circumstances. I was single.'

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

"What other tricks does he need?"

"Scientists may need a trillion dollar atom smasher to explore the fundamental questions of the universe, but all you need is one too many."

Complementary Beverages

"Drinking improves my vodkabulary."

"So who ordered the 'Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum on a dead mans chest'?"

"I just saw some confused old goat pee all over the bathroom floor." "That was a mirror. And that wasn't the bathroom."

". . . so a duck walks into a . . ."

'Of all the fern bars in Encino, she's gotta walk into mine.'

Mo's USA Bar: Tips/Tariffs

'These drinks have been watered down.'

"Would you please sip your drink and not swill it!"

"Mister, I don't know if the glass is half full or half empty. It's 12 dollars."

If a motorist came bursting through the doors...would he be up for damages?

Virtual Lap Dancing

'I'd like to get in touch with my feminine side, Joe -- bring me a Bloody Mary.'

"I feel like I've just been played my whole life."

"Let's just agree to disagree." "I suggested that first!"

"I couldn't help overhearing what you ladies said about all the chlorine in the toilet water, and I could not agree more."

Bar, My dog doesn't understand me.

"No thanks, just the peanuts."

'That's right. Ploughman's lunch; Egg, beans and sausage. It's what he orders every time he comes in here.'

"Oi, who are you bleedin' looking at?"

'My opinion, right or wrong!'

"If that's the chief medical officer I'm not here."

'I'd like a brandy please...'

"Let's have some fun, guys -- Let's walk into a bar."

'What is this, some kind of joke?'

"We met in the Galapagos."

"As this is our first date, perhaps I should tell you that I participate in several frequent liar programmes."

People talking through a stethoscope.

"In an effort to conserve water... I've stopped having it in my whisky."