Blue-collar Pride Gifts

"Nope, never did a TED Talk or performed on 'The Moth.' I'm Dennis, the fish guy from Price Chopper."

"If nothing else needs welding, Paula, I'm going to lunch."

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

Time Out For Teddy

White Collar Crime.

"White Collar Prison"

"Yes, I can use tools, but I realized early on I could earn more money as an accountant..."

Bureaucrats held up by the workers.

"Okay guys you have your assignments. Let's get cracking!"

“Son, that… ‘some this will all be yours’… is now!”

Ponzi-Mat Vending Machine

A deadline comes to chew up a worker.

Hellbillies.

"At first I thought it was just coincidence, then I noticed it corresponded perfectly to your shift."

'This resume is incredible. Would you be able to lie this well under pressure?'

'I don't want to rob the rich anymore, Marian, I want to BE the rich.'

'I've proved to the company I can make the tough rationalizations.'

'As your friend, I'd advise you to leave the country. As your accountant, I advise you to file for bankruptcy.'

"Now we'll all close our eyes and cover our ears, and the person who took the four hundred and twenty-eight million dollars will put it back."

"As your cell bitch, I imagine my Sarbanes-Oxley expertise should come in quite handy."

"Okay! I know! I'm proud that you have a job and you've set a goal to spend all your money...on a nice lowrider car."

"I'm getting notes of 2 x 4."

Joe's Bar: Gentlemen must wear blue collars.

'The company has got flexible working hours. I've got to be on the spot when they need me, that's why they tie me to a tree near the front door after work.'

Fraud Squad

As you can see we've had to downsize our workforce.

'Where are you going, I already locked out that pump.' - 'CARL'S on shift!'

'No, no, I've gone through all the steps in the procedure and I don't see anything about totally immersing yourself in oil before starting the job!!

'You're too late...I embezzled it.'

'Honey! I got promoted to long sleeves!'

"I've never met one, but I hear offices have fire drills."

'You're a legend, sir. We studied you in our criminal justice class.'

Job Safety - Safety Goal.

". . . but, it will be great to see the old gang."

"As a manager I might have my head in the clouds, but it's much better than being a worker who has his whole body in the dirt!"