Blue-collar Champion Gifts

'...your job's been transferred to India.'

"If nothing else needs welding, Paula, I'm going to lunch."

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

Time Out For Teddy

White Collar Crime.

Bureaucrats held up by the workers.

Ponzi-Mat Vending Machine

"Okay guys you have your assignments. Let's get cracking!"

"Yes, I can use tools, but I realized early on I could earn more money as an accountant..."

“Son, that… ‘some this will all be yours’… is now!”

A deadline comes to chew up a worker.

Hellbillies.

The blue-collar diner for white-collar people...

"At first I thought it was just coincidence, then I noticed it corresponded perfectly to your shift."

'This resume is incredible. Would you be able to lie this well under pressure?'

'I've proved to the company I can make the tough rationalizations.'

'Dad, somehow I got into the IRS files.'

'As your friend, I'd advise you to leave the country. As your accountant, I advise you to file for bankruptcy.'

'I don't want to rob the rich anymore, Marian, I want to BE the rich.'

"As your cell bitch, I imagine my Sarbanes-Oxley expertise should come in quite handy."

Joe's Bar: Gentlemen must wear blue collars.

"I'm getting notes of 2 x 4."

Fraud Squad

As you can see we've had to downsize our workforce.

'Where are you going, I already locked out that pump.' - 'CARL'S on shift!'

'The company has got flexible working hours. I've got to be on the spot when they need me, that's why they tie me to a tree near the front door after work.'

'No, no, I've gone through all the steps in the procedure and I don't see anything about totally immersing yourself in oil before starting the job!!

'You're too late...I embezzled it.'

'Honey! I got promoted to long sleeves!'

"I've never met one, but I hear offices have fire drills."

Job Safety - Safety Goal.

Running after money.

'See what they've done to the minimum wage?' - 'As long as they don't change the maximum wage.'

Job Safety - Be Safe.

"As a manager I might have my head in the clouds, but it's much better than being a worker who has his whole body in the dirt!"