Blue-collar Life Gifts

Health and Safety.

"If nothing else needs welding, Paula, I'm going to lunch."

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

Computer monitor for a head.

Time Out For Teddy

Man in office on saddle: 'You heard right. I just got hired as a desk jockey.'

Ponzi-Mat Vending Machine

“Son, that… ‘some this will all be yours’… is now!”

Bureaucrats held up by the workers.

"Okay guys you have your assignments. Let's get cracking!"

White Collar Crime.

"Yes, I can use tools, but I realized early on I could earn more money as an accountant..."

A deadline comes to chew up a worker.

Business Sisyphus

Financial Corruption

"There's corporate me and there's me, and, by God, we both know how to have fun."

Hellbillies.

"At first I thought it was just coincidence, then I noticed it corresponded perfectly to your shift."

'This resume is incredible. Would you be able to lie this well under pressure?'

'Quite frankly sir, I think you're stifling my creativity.'

'It's a vicious cycle Walters.'

'I don't want to rob the rich anymore, Marian, I want to BE the rich.'

'I've proved to the company I can make the tough rationalizations.'

'As your friend, I'd advise you to leave the country. As your accountant, I advise you to file for bankruptcy.'

"As your cell bitch, I imagine my Sarbanes-Oxley expertise should come in quite handy."

'Another stressful day at the office dear?'

'The company has got flexible working hours. I've got to be on the spot when they need me, that's why they tie me to a tree near the front door after work.'

As you can see we've had to downsize our workforce.

"I'm getting notes of 2 x 4."

'Where are you going, I already locked out that pump.' - 'CARL'S on shift!'

Fraud Squad

Joe's Bar: Gentlemen must wear blue collars.

'No, no, I've gone through all the steps in the procedure and I don't see anything about totally immersing yourself in oil before starting the job!!

'I think I'd have an easier time thinking out-of-the-box if I didn't have to spend the entire day in a cubicle.'

'You're too late...I embezzled it.'