Bill Shuffler Enthusiast Gifts

Any more rude letters from you and yours won't even go into the shuffle.

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

'Today the stock market was moribund, as growth equities sputtered and bonds dipped due to the inverted yield curve. I'd translate that into layman's terms...but they don't pay me enough.'

Newark by Night. A new Dutch restaurant just opened. What do you know about Dutch cuisine? Nothing. But I'm a big fan of the "Dutch Treat" concept.

'I always feel at the end of the day I could've taken credit for more.'

'Bring me an in basket and an out basket and some paperwork to shuffle between them.'

I am billing, therefore I am.

'Dear sir, every month we place all bills in a big pile on the table, and select six at random for payment...'

'I bet those are the accident reports.'

'Father, meet Sister Kate, she shimmies like a jelly upon a jelly plate.'

'You like my in-tray full, don't you?'

"No, Thursday's out. How about never - is never good for you?"

'I teach history specializing in swashbuckling.'

"How do you spell time management?"

"It's a 300 page government questionnaire about cutting back on bureaucracy."

Duel Fuel?

'Ok, the cat's away. Time to play.'

'Well - unbuckle and get swashing.'

"I can't tell a lie, Samantha. I'm a two bird bloke."

Pirate Schools

"Let's face it, this meeting isn't about tightening our work schedule. It's about stretching our deadline."

The 'Time Management' consultant rang to say she double booked and she's going to be late!"

"This one starts the day here and usually finishes the day up here."

Errol Flynn.

Flexitime.

If I ever end up dancing like that, please buy me a one way ticket to Switzerland.

"We made it more convenient so that you don't even have to walk now."

"Shuffle Mode"

"Separate checks as always, Dr Jekyll."

Magic Trick

Watch that always reads: 'Later'.

"Penny for your thoughts? I'm a solicitor, it'll cost you five hundred!"

'Come out - you drunken old rat!'

"I'm still righting wrongs. And you?

"It's a quote from the builder, he says that the $2000 will just cover the cost of him coming over to laugh at us!"