Stock Shuffler Gifts

'Today the stock market was moribund, as growth equities sputtered and bonds dipped due to the inverted yield curve. I'd translate that into layman's terms...but they don't pay me enough.'

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

Interior design trends for parents....

'I always feel at the end of the day I could've taken credit for more.'

'Bring me an in basket and an out basket and some paperwork to shuffle between them.'

'You've never planted potatoes before have you?'

'Dear sir, every month we place all bills in a big pile on the table, and select six at random for payment...'

'I bet those are the accident reports.'

Top - Perhaps

'Look, if we're going to make this business work, we need to stop eating all the stock.'

'Father, meet Sister Kate, she shimmies like a jelly upon a jelly plate.'

Stock Market - Bull vs Bear

Jobs for graduates

'You like my in-tray full, don't you?'

News. Volatile Stock Market. Lots of people have lost their shirts in the stock market. That's why they're feeling bare-ish!

Sport in library

"No, Thursday's out. How about never - is never good for you?"

"How do you spell time management?"

A cat composer

"It's a 300 page government questionnaire about cutting back on bureaucracy."

'Ok, the cat's away. Time to play.'

"Poor chap has just discovered his daughter has got in to medical school!"

"Let's face it, this meeting isn't about tightening our work schedule. It's about stretching our deadline."

OK, buy! No, wait... sell! No, change that... sell! No... buy! No... sell! Buy!

"This one starts the day here and usually finishes the day up here."

The 'Time Management' consultant rang to say she double booked and she's going to be late!"

'Stocks rebounded from yesterday's losses on news that 'it aint over till it's over'.'

Flexitime.

If I ever end up dancing like that, please buy me a one way ticket to Switzerland.

Jobs-a-plenty (grocery store sacker/shelf stacker).

'Frankly I'm disappointed in your commitment to late night shelf stacking.'

"Shuffle Mode"

Magic Trick

Watch that always reads: 'Later'.

"I'm still righting wrongs. And you?