Club Shufflers Gifts

If I ever end up dancing like that, please buy me a one way ticket to Switzerland.

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

Interior design trends for parents....

'Today the stock market was moribund, as growth equities sputtered and bonds dipped due to the inverted yield curve. I'd translate that into layman's terms...but they don't pay me enough.'

'I always feel at the end of the day I could've taken credit for more.'

'Dear sir, every month we place all bills in a big pile on the table, and select six at random for payment...'

'You've never planted potatoes before have you?'

'I bet those are the accident reports.'

'I read that the ball is on the surface of the club for just 0.00035 of a second, so even when you take 100 shots to go around, you are only getting less than 1 second of golf for your money...'

'It never fails. The mud's always one inch higher than my boots.'

'Father, meet Sister Kate, she shimmies like a jelly upon a jelly plate.'

'You like my in-tray full, don't you?'

"No, Thursday's out. How about never - is never good for you?"

"Don't rush me, I've got to get it right!"

"How do you spell time management?"

'I think someone wants you to search for buried bones.'

A cat composer

'Ok, the cat's away. Time to play.'

"Let's face it, this meeting isn't about tightening our work schedule. It's about stretching our deadline."

"This one starts the day here and usually finishes the day up here."

The 'Time Management' consultant rang to say she double booked and she's going to be late!"

"They're in a statistical dead heat."

Flexitime.

Best sellers. New releases. Books you still haven't finished yet, Claire.

Magic Trick

"Shuffle Mode"

Watch that always reads: 'Later'.

"I'm still righting wrongs. And you?

Procrastinators Anonymous

Brokers

Badminton/Goodminton

'I don't think I am the worst caddy in the world... That would be just too much of a coincidence!'

Any more rude letters from you and yours won't even go into the shuffle.

After discovering how much he enjoyed redactiing, Roger gets a little carried away.

'Yeah. We should help them.'