Style Shuffler Gifts

"Shuffle Mode"

Interior design trends for parents....

Beauty is in the eye of the manipulator.

"If you could be any Bob Dylan you wanted to, which Bob Dylan would you be?"

'Today the stock market was moribund, as growth equities sputtered and bonds dipped due to the inverted yield curve. I'd translate that into layman's terms...but they don't pay me enough.'

'I always feel at the end of the day I could've taken credit for more.'

'Bring me an in basket and an out basket and some paperwork to shuffle between them.'

'You've never planted potatoes before have you?'

'Dear sir, every month we place all bills in a big pile on the table, and select six at random for payment...'

'I bet those are the accident reports.'

'Father, meet Sister Kate, she shimmies like a jelly upon a jelly plate.'

'You like my in-tray full, don't you?'

On the Hanger

"No, Thursday's out. How about never - is never good for you?"

'Welcome to our first ever... Casual Sunday.'

A cat composer

"How do you spell time management?"

"It's a 300 page government questionnaire about cutting back on bureaucracy."

'Ok, the cat's away. Time to play.'

"Let's face it, this meeting isn't about tightening our work schedule. It's about stretching our deadline."

Short Hair: Expectations vs. Reality

The 'Time Management' consultant rang to say she double booked and she's going to be late!"

"This one starts the day here and usually finishes the day up here."

"It's from around this time that we began to see a change of style in the artist's work."

'You'll have to come up with something new...Nobody notices you anymore.'

Flexitime.

If I ever end up dancing like that, please buy me a one way ticket to Switzerland.

Magic Trick

Watch that always reads: 'Later'.

"I'm still righting wrongs. And you?

'Your paintings have improved dramatically since your changed your style!'

Procrastinators Anonymous

Any more rude letters from you and yours won't even go into the shuffle.

'The Temptation of Antonio, Fashion Designer.'