Soil Shuffler Gifts

'You've never planted potatoes before have you?'

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

Interior design trends for parents....

'Today the stock market was moribund, as growth equities sputtered and bonds dipped due to the inverted yield curve. I'd translate that into layman's terms...but they don't pay me enough.'

"Daddy, why do people pull round pizza from square boxes and cut them into triangles before they eat them?"

Three-dimensional, eh --- What makes you so spatial?

"Actually, the job calls for someone who is convex."

Dissectum Paniculata

'Bring me an in basket and an out basket and some paperwork to shuffle between them.'

'I always feel at the end of the day I could've taken credit for more.'

'Dear sir, every month we place all bills in a big pile on the table, and select six at random for payment...'

'I bet those are the accident reports.'

'Father, meet Sister Kate, she shimmies like a jelly upon a jelly plate.'

"I can’t come to bed yet. I have bulbs to plant."

Sphere vs. sphere reimagined.

'OMG Roger, you look totally out of shape!'

'You like my in-tray full, don't you?'

The irony is that Euclid himself is way out of shape.

The irony is that Euclid himself is way out of shape.

"No, Thursday's out. How about never - is never good for you?"

Meanwhile, back at the 'shape' party... 'Hey, check out the square dancing with Brenda...!'

"How do you spell time management?"

A Wrecked-angle.

Evolution of the Mathematician.

Postman in the Snow

"It's a 300 page government questionnaire about cutting back on bureaucracy."

Shovels as Snow Shoes

'Ok, the cat's away. Time to play.'

The benefit of a joint geography and geometry degree.

"I am the change you all can be."

"Let's face it, this meeting isn't about tightening our work schedule. It's about stretching our deadline."

The 'Time Management' consultant rang to say she double booked and she's going to be late!"

"This one starts the day here and usually finishes the day up here."

Institute of Solid Geometry and Institute of Plane Geometry

Flexitime.