Shuttlecock Shuffler Gifts

Badminton/Goodminton

Interior design trends for parents....

'Today the stock market was moribund, as growth equities sputtered and bonds dipped due to the inverted yield curve. I'd translate that into layman's terms...but they don't pay me enough.'

'Yeah, I know your idea of heaven is to play golf all day, but all we have is shuffleboard!'

"The Captain really, really hates losing at shuffleboard."

'Bring me an in basket and an out basket and some paperwork to shuffle between them.'

'I always feel at the end of the day I could've taken credit for more.'

'Dear sir, every month we place all bills in a big pile on the table, and select six at random for payment...'

'You've never planted potatoes before have you?'

'I bet those are the accident reports.'

'Father, meet Sister Kate, she shimmies like a jelly upon a jelly plate.'

'You like my in-tray full, don't you?'

"No, Thursday's out. How about never - is never good for you?"

"How do you spell time management?"

A cat composer

"It's a 300 page government questionnaire about cutting back on bureaucracy."

'Ok, the cat's away. Time to play.'

Bowled out.

"Let's face it, this meeting isn't about tightening our work schedule. It's about stretching our deadline."

"This one starts the day here and usually finishes the day up here."

The 'Time Management' consultant rang to say she double booked and she's going to be late!"

I love badminton.

Flexitime.

If I ever end up dancing like that, please buy me a one way ticket to Switzerland.

"I still think badminton is as fast as tennis..."

"Shuffle Mode"

"For the last time, we don't have a shuffleboard court."

Magic Trick

Watch that always reads: 'Later'.

"I'm still righting wrongs. And you?

"Let's now take a moment to remember those we've lost to dogs and roof gutters."

Any more rude letters from you and yours won't even go into the shuffle.

Procrastinators Anonymous