Shuttlecock Enthusiast Gifts

Shuttlecock.

I love badminton.

Badminton player.

"Tell me, Frankie, what time is it?"

Pirate eye test

Making fun of Starfish.

'...please switch of all mobile phones, paging devices and alarm watches...'

"You're late."

'This is your third speeding ticket in a week. Sure your horse didn't get into some genetically modified hay?'

"I was so shy I hid to sound her out. When the echo came back, she sounded really good looking, and the rest, is history..."

"Gladys, look! My kids made me a card for Mother's Day!"

'Eddy - For Heavens sake, stop watching Pirates-of-the-Caribbean-movies!'

'Maybe you had the radar screen upside down and it was a plane...'

"Yes, I'm still on hold and counting the billable minutes."

'Any chance of making this a 'catch and release', officer?'

"Why do I have to learn to tell time? Can't I just listen for the bell?"

Pooper scoppers.

'Oh, mooom! Salesman-om-a-diving-trip again? Man, I'm really longing for the end of the holiday season!'

'I found out what makes him tick - he'd swallowed a watch!'

101 uses of a dead cat: slingshot.

'We are a committee of clocks, you idiot. What do you mean you forgot to record the minutes?'

'I didn't think you'd like spelunking, but do you listen to me? Heck, no.'

A man sinking with a rock tied to him passes a fish with a balloon tied to him.

"The key is to hit the deck before the ball arrives. Jake, not so fast!"

"I told you she didn't like us!"

'Alright, gentlemen, let's make a stamp deal.'

'Yes, it is a nice ship but it cost me an arm and a leg.'

'I hate military time.'

"Speeding? Impossible. I'm on my way to my tax audit!"

'It's Jack's homemade Merlot - care for a scoop?'

Football Time

'A meeting of the 'Bandy' association for the promotion of 'Hockey on the ice.''

'You're early.'

"Let's now take a moment to remember those we've lost to dogs and roof gutters."