Tick-tock Enthusiast Gifts

'I found out what makes him tick - he'd swallowed a watch!'

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

Small child building a large contraption from junk

'A generous layer of vaseline makes an excellent tickle repellent!'

Tic-tac-toe

'Well, that's fixed that.'

"I'm good at ticking boxes."

Grimm's Fairytales - The Turnip; Student Tricked into 'Sack of Knowledge'

Book on Thumb Twiddling

'Pick a business card.'

'As a kid I was always taking things apart...so, anyway, that's when my parents stopped getting me pets.'

Cold Beers and Skiers

"This obsession of yours about becoming a car mechanic..."

"You've even got me confused now but I'm reasonably sure it's 'righty tighty - lefty loosey'."

'He went that way, quick!'

"Oscar has been known to reinvent himself."

Farmer to son: 'For heaven's sake Jeb! Get Bessie out of that tall grass now! Can't you see she's full of ticks?!'

'He was one of the finest illusionists I was ever privileged to see.'

'While Dewey distracts the defense, the quarterback simply jogs into the end zone untouched.'

'I hate frisking magicians!'

"There's always one kid that spoils the class picture."

"Yes, I'm still on hold and counting the billable minutes."

Machine

'There there how were you to know it wasn't Jeremy Beadle.'

'You love anything tacky, don't you?'

Monkeys Steal Quicksand Sign.

Giant Magician's Rabbit.

Tractors play tic-tac-toe while plowing field.

'Ugh, why did I ever get these tattoos?'

'That's what I call magical magic!'

Security: Ticklish and Non-Ticklish.