Biking Badass Gifts

Bernard Hinault

When a toddler hands you their ringing toy phone, you answer it!

"First aid box, puncture repair kit, mobile phone, energy bars and plenty of liquids; I think that's all eventualities covered..."

'Relax, it's just like riding a rollercoaster.'

Car carrying bikes, biker carrying car.

Cheesie Rider

"Hel-l-l-o-o-o-o Summer!"

Motorcycles tied to hitching post outside a western saloon

'I got fired, Amy... I hate it when that happens!'

Tattoos sagging with time

Biker couple with their baby in a side car.

'And I say he makes us look bad when he rides around listening to those books.'

'He's made an eco-friendly bamboo bike... unfortunately all the tomato plants have fallen down.'

To save some cash my parents held my 8th B'day party at Lenny's Tap + Grill....

Biker chopper shopper

'Clarice, you know our rule. You cannot date anyone who has...'

Absurd motorbike

"You had me at hell."

'It's just what I always wanted!'

'There was an extra 50 miles on my bike this week. I couldn't keep you off the couch, now this?'

"Hells Angels, Zamboni Division"

'Mr. Barnes has been riding his motorcycle, so he's a little behind on his paperwork. If you'll take a seat, he should be with you in a few hours.'

Old School Mustaches

Family Sidecar

The Feng Shui of the road must be off.

'No, Killa isn't going to make it to bike night, I've convinced him to stay home and watch a romantic movie with me.'

'Oh, look, Billy's found a playmate.'

"Howard's gone on the Tour de France without his bicycle again."

Bad Hare Day

'Fuel efficiency? I get about three times around the block on a peanut butter sandwich.'

"Didn't anyone tell you this is the private juice bar of the Health's Angels?"

"Mr. Coughlin over there was the founder of one of the first motorcycle gangs"

Tetracycline: Bicycle built for 4 organisms.'

'My wife bought me this helmet when I told her I was buying a bike. She's a little over protective.'

'Before you say it's got some old parts, remember that you repaired it last time.'