Playful Badass Gifts

When a toddler hands you their ringing toy phone, you answer it!

A Hole in the Dike

'You may now kick the bride.'

'Remember last Saturday. . . you were bold that day. No dear, caught.'

The GODFATHER Ride 25¢

'We've been playing house for 5 minutes, and she's already nagging me to get a job.'

"RAF Recruitment Waiting Room."

'He looks exactly like his father!'

"When I'm with you, Ted, I feel dirty."

It's for you.

"So, next week, if it's okay with our wives, wanna have another playdate?"

'T.S.I.F.'

Skateboard Olympics.

Silly sausages

"I'm a little angel when I'm asleep. Does that count?"

Al, you need to get over your childish desire for a pony. It's not childish, doctor. I only started wanting one last week.

Fencing Lessons

Father's Day

Bernard Hinault

'And remember, lady, down here the toilet seat stays up!'

Whale blowing soap-bubbles.

Tug the Toggle

Medieval soldiers on a bouncy castle

"Warm and rich, fresh and bright, with depth and intensity. Not the wine, you."

'I knew I shouldn't have brought you along. I haven't had a hit all day.'

Timber!

"Oooh! I never knew your butt could move like that, honey!"

Umbrella fight.

"It was an ambush Sheriff, Injuns, didn't see what tribe, but they were real young!"

"Very well done, Samuels. But next time, don't forget your handcuffs."

'I would like to have a little talk with both of you!'

At 'Appy 'Ampstead on Easter Monday.

'Doc says I'm in ship-shape.'

"Stop annoying my pooch!"

'Bye. Sorry we didn't have any Devil's Food.'