Biking Outlaw Gifts

"This will maintain your rebellious image in states with helmet laws."

Glue gun? Glitter? Dang it, I grabbed my crafting belt again.

Artists of the wild west.

"It's nice to feel wanted though, isn't it?"

"Are you the one they call El Cóndor?"

Motorcycles tied to hitching post outside a western saloon

'I was fixin' to fill you full o' lead, Clanton, but it looks like that there stalactite done the job for me!'

"I'm thinking of changing my name."

'Yeah, I'm a trife scorpio - what of it?'

"There ain't enough room in this here town for two arthritics, stranger..."

Bernard Hinault

Silent music

"Nope, Jeb's my pardner. My partner is Zeke."

Round-the-world cyclist has world stolen

"No, no, I think it's 'two-gun' Pete you're after!"

'So you've decided to drop the whole 'man with no name' image, have you?' 'Tarquin Chadwick, Gunslinger'

'Mac, when are we going to get the pickup truck fixed?'

"Better watch it, Sheriff. It's said this guy's dang near impossible to shoot and no jail can hold 'im."

"This chat room ain't big enough fer th' two of us."

Joe's Weight Gain: '...none of my good pants fit right now...but since we'll be sitting the whole time, I figures it wouldn't really matter...'

Wheelies Gang.

SALLY'S TATTOO PARLOR, 'No, I WOULDN'T like a nice unicorn!'

When stupid prisoners play Baseball

'Tell me the truth...does this dead body make me look fat?'

'What the hell d'ya mean 'shoot straight'?! Whaddya think I'm doing?!!'

'...You've got no game.'

"What's the point of being your sidekick if the courts won't recognize it?"

"Dang it, Seth! Are you still feeding those birds?"

"Baldo, I hope you're not going to that new drainage ditch to do tricks on your bike."

"Face it, Earl. We're dogfoodboys."

"Son, it's against the law to ride a bike in this town without protective head gear."

The Courier Out of hell

'This book changed my life. I stole it.'

"Ned's got a fly in his helmet again."

"It was just another sleepy little town, until the stranger who would become known as 'The Brass nightmare' came to town."