Sports Outlaw Gifts

'...You've got no game.'

Glue gun? Glitter? Dang it, I grabbed my crafting belt again.

"Next time you score show a little respect and don't spike uncle Frank so hard."

"It's nice to feel wanted though, isn't it?"

Motorcycles tied to hitching post outside a western saloon

'I was fixin' to fill you full o' lead, Clanton, but it looks like that there stalactite done the job for me!'

Goal!

Rugby Mad.

Sports Lawyers

"I'm thinking of changing my name."

'Yeah, I'm a trife scorpio - what of it?'

'After we showed him the partial print we got at the crime scene he decided to lawyer up.'

"There ain't enough room in this here town for two arthritics, stranger..."

Running With Scissors Marathon

"No, no, I think it's 'two-gun' Pete you're after!"

"Nope, Jeb's my pardner. My partner is Zeke."

Silent music

'So you've decided to drop the whole 'man with no name' image, have you?' 'Tarquin Chadwick, Gunslinger'

"This chat room ain't big enough fer th' two of us."

"His number is the amount of payola he received to play basketball for his college."

Sorry, coach. My mom says the other football pants are "too revealing."

"This will maintain your rebellious image in states with helmet laws."

The unorganised organiser.

"Better watch it, Sheriff. It's said this guy's dang near impossible to shoot and no jail can hold 'im."

Chess bowling.

When stupid prisoners play Baseball

'Tell me the truth...does this dead body make me look fat?'

'What the hell d'ya mean 'shoot straight'?! Whaddya think I'm doing?!!'

Unusual Sports: Shooting Skiers

Joe's Weight Gain: '...none of my good pants fit right now...but since we'll be sitting the whole time, I figures it wouldn't really matter...'

'Man, that new guy is nothing but a thug!'

'Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, now he's watching coverage of other people watching gold.'

"What's the point of being your sidekick if the courts won't recognize it?"

"It will be dangerous to go 'cold turkey'. We need to wean her off with replays..."

'Tennis can be addictive...I wouldn't recommend going 'gold turkey'...let her watch an hour or two of repeats...'