Smoking Outlaw Gifts

'You tell him to go outside to smoke!'

"It's nice to feel wanted though, isn't it?"

Motorcycles tied to hitching post outside a western saloon

'I was fixin' to fill you full o' lead, Clanton, but it looks like that there stalactite done the job for me!'

"I'm thinking of changing my name."

'So OK. . . I should quit smoking, but I scratched that off my bucket list years ago!'

'Yeah, I'm a trife scorpio - what of it?'

"You must be the one they call the birthday kid!"

"There ain't enough room in this here town for two arthritics, stranger..."

"No, no, I think it's 'two-gun' Pete you're after!"

Alcohol and Tobacco Danger

"Nope, Jeb's my pardner. My partner is Zeke."

'So you've decided to drop the whole 'man with no name' image, have you?' 'Tarquin Chadwick, Gunslinger'

"This chat room ain't big enough fer th' two of us."

"This will maintain your rebellious image in states with helmet laws."

"Better watch it, Sheriff. It's said this guy's dang near impossible to shoot and no jail can hold 'im."

The new normal.

"I'd like to help, pal, but I'm on my way to arrest a guy for violating a 'no smoking' ordinance."

"I don't understand. I gave up smoking two years ago."

Joe's Weight Gain: '...none of my good pants fit right now...but since we'll be sitting the whole time, I figures it wouldn't really matter...'

'Jake, honey, if you need some cash, my purse is in the kitchen. You already robbed a bank today.'

'Tell me the truth...does this dead body make me look fat?'

'What the hell d'ya mean 'shoot straight'?! Whaddya think I'm doing?!!'

"Dang it, Seth! Are you still feeding those birds?"

'There's something about beig locked up with a 500-pound gorilla, highly allergic to cigarette smoke, that works every time'

"It's from young Joe. He's in hot water with someone named Joycelyn Elders."

"Face it, Earl. We're dogfoodboys."

"And just where did that extra vowel come from?"

"Ned's got a fly in his helmet again."

'This book changed my life. I stole it.'

'Allowing prayer time at work...It's a disgrace!'

A pen rests in an ashtray.

Designated Smoking Area

Smoking Area

Railway official telling a traveller not to smoke in the waiting room