Bigamy Satire Lovers Gifts

'Yes, I'm a bigamist, but I prefer to think of myself as serving two marriages concurrently.'

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

"Will you stand by him through humiliating revelation after humiliating revelation, and then-once you're sure it couldn't possibly get any worse-when even more humiliating revelations come to light?"

"Like I could date a guy from Notre Dame."

The Quack Quack Diaries: Quack Quack Writes A Novel

"See..? We told you there was nothing there..."

U of Debt

"It's good to know she was butchered for a noble cause."

"She wishes to range free!"

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

"What's wrong with swallowing up other companies?"

Next gen pregnancy tests.

So I guess the moral of Hansel and Gretel is always carry your cell phone!

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

"Where we lack in productivity is made up by extremely low employee turnover."

'And she's got to have implants out to here.'

"Your taxes,pension and health deductions have exceeded your wages - here's your bill."

"Remember, education pays, unless you end up an adjunct - like me."

Police film evidence

The Great Leap Forward

'Take us to your crash test facilities. We're here to liberate our compatriots!'

Novak Djokovic has his visa denied to play in Australia as he is unvaccinated

'Sure, real estate prices are sky-high, but kings don't sell their castles, and that's that.'

"If CEO pay packets aren't a problem, why doesn't everyone get one?"

"They say we destroy plants – such as potatoes, corn and carrots – and they're boycotting us. They're fruitarians."

Limerick On A Grecian Urn

'What I lack in cognitive flexibility, I make up for in moral flexibility.'

The White House: Some Assembly Required.

"It's somehow comforting to witness a revival of the classics in motivational technique."

'Even in the mundane tasks, aim for perfection!'

Why Superman flies himself

'Some mistakes are too much fun to make only once.'

Government survey into the effects of haggis throwing in Ethiopia.