Bigamy Humor Fan Gifts

'Still adding to your collection, Sir?'

'The iceman cometh too soon!'

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

'Taxes are going up, but that's no excuse to earn less, Mr. Syms.'

"First date hairball... awkward."

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

'Stop complaining woman, you wanted a boating holiday!'

Trump Poutine

'We're going to need to find a scapegoat.'

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

'I really wish you guys would knock that off.'

'What did I tell you? There's always a catch to those bargain internet travel fares...'

"He should be up and complaining in no time."

US Credit: 'I'm down grading your credit rating...'

'Here, we don't need a retirement plan. If you do your job as we want it, you'll directly go from your desk to hell.'

"I sold my soul for about a tenth of what the damn things are going for now."

'More government surveillance!'

'And we'll give you all the carcinogens you can eat.'

"Open a wine that will make me want to watch the shows you want to watch."

"You don't sniff my butt anymore."

'Would you do me the honour of becoming tax advantaged with me?'

The Thinker?

"It's Doris Kearns Goodwin. Is there anything we'd like to know about the Presidency?"

'I knew you would come crawling back.'

"He is walking from 'Lands end to John'o'Groats', virtually."

"I think I'm as patient as the next person, but my husband wouldn't stop saying 'yo,' so I shot him."

"If you get married at the Grammy Awards, can your marriage be annulled at the Country Music Awards?"

"Yes ... no!"

How men process questions.

"This merger is not producing the expected synergies."

"I'm 59 and they say I'm middle aged. Just how many people do you know who are 118?"

Germany: willingness for anti-corona vaccination decreases!

"There may be a moral equivalent of war, but, by God, there is not moral equivalent of money."

'Yes, I'm sure Latestagrossa is the patient's name, and not the disease!'